“Minutwar” is kind of a portmanteau word that blends “Minotaur” and “Minute War.” The former is, of course, the beast of Greek mythology that was part man/part bull and lived at the center of King Minos’ labyrinth on the island of Crete. He ate Athenian boys and girls. Yum. “Minute War” is just that: little battles. Tiny wars. I have them every day, all day long. I try to beat the old lady in the check out line next to me at the grocery store. I try to empty the dishwasher as fast as I can. It’s Me vs. The Dishes. I refuse to let the asshole in the Hummer into my lane on the freeway. Fuck that guy. Grrrr, battle, battle, battle. All day.

That’s what these Minutwar pictures are about. This one, with Chris Pontius (top) and Chris Reed (down), was the first. They represent little battles, minute wars. Which is what the Minotaur is: a representation of the war between the duality of man and beast. Frankly, I don’t like talking about it. But that’s the deal. Kill, kill, kill.

The pictures, themselves, are photographs, but I don’t really consider them photographs. Mostly because I hate photographers. Fuckin’ nerds. I remember going into a photography store when I was a teenager and I asked for a roll of black and white film. The snobby clerk behind the counter asked, “Do you want it to be PANCHROMATIC?” What an asshole. What a fucking arrogant little shit. I was young, but I knew what that word meant. “Yeah,” I said, “I would like a roll of film that is sensitive to all of the wavelengths of visible light, you prick.” I hate photographers. It’s because they’re more concerned with the process than the end result. I could give two shits about the camera, the film, the paper, I don’t give a fuck. I want the picture. That’s what I learned in college while studying photography: fuck photography. I did everything I could wrong. Once you stop caring about the film and the paper and the whole process, it becomes a lot more fun. And that’s what these pictures are about. Having fun with friends and, you know, just hopping around a little.